Truth Or Dare:Regret And Consequence
by Inuria
Summary: Get the fruits basket characters to do your bidding!yaoi with some dares I guess.information inside, oh alot of cursing.Rated T for cussing, and suggestive themes.OH BABBI! : Happy Reading! Read At Own Risk
1. Chapter 1

Jurhee:Yo.

Everyone:-blink-

Jurhee:I've made a decision.

Kyo:And?

Jurhee:I'm making a truth or dare fanfic that's interactive!Happy Day!

Tohru:Eh?

Jurhee:What I mean is, put your name, and a quesion for truth, and a well, dare for dare.As a

reviw or something.They have to choose, and they don't have chickens.Poor them.

Kereno:What about chickens?

Jurhee:Er...nothing?

Kerno:You said chicken.

Jurhee:Ya, but not the real chicken.

Kerno:What's not a real chicken?

Jurhee:-twitch-Go have buttsex with Akito.Or else I'll hug you then cook you, then eat you.

Kerno:-tears in eyes-You evil, evil per-

Jurhee:-hugs-

Kureno:-runs away clucking-

Yuki:-blinks as a rooster runs past him-...okay.

Jurhee:And I'm talking to my friend, Nicole on aim as I'm also typing.So, she only watched two

episodes of Fruits Basket.And shes going to do the first truth or dare.Okay?Okay.Oh, and be forwarned, she was a crack whore at age 3 and a half.

Nicole:I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE THAT.

Jurhee[

Nicole:I dare Yuki and Kyo to have butt sex in animal form.Or say would they rather make out

with Akito, or each other.

Everyone:. . .

Kyo and Yuki:-throws up and faints-

Shigure:-giggles hysterically-

Tohru:-face red-

Kyo and Yuki:-wakes up and stares at each other-

Kyo:I pick truth

Yuki:Same.

Nicole:-frowns-Woosies.

Yuki:-growls-I'd rather not screw him, thanks.

Kyo:I'd rather Akito.

Yuki:Akito.

Akito:-appears out of no where grinning-

Jurhee:-eyes wide-I think you guys should ru-

Kyo and Yuki:-runs ith a cloud of dust behind them passing Jurhee-

Jurhee:Well, thats he introduction.I hope you guys like the upcoming funny.Oh, and sorry for the yaoi, and..ya.BAI.


	2. Recicption Cake

Jurhee:Hey every one, I'm back...already.

Everyone:-shivers in fear-

Jurhee:-smiles-I got a dare for.. someone.

Everyone:-shifty eyes-

Jurhee:And, the person is..HATORI DRUM ROLL!

Hatori:-sighs-...drum roll?dadadadadadadundundundundadadadada..cymbol.CLASH

Jurhee:YUKI SOHMA is the winner.

Yuki:-pales-

Jurhee:Alright Yuki, truth or dare?

Yuki:Uhm..-pause- d-dare?

Jurhee:-grins- Rosa Marie Devlin dares you to... marry...her.YAY!I wanna be the maid of honor or bridsemaid of honor.Roooosa can I?

Rosa:Yup!Now c'mon Yuki lets get married!

Yuki: 0.0 I'm only 16!

Jurhee:Yay!That means you can spend the majority of your life -point to a bubbly Rosa- her!

Rosa:-tugs Yuki's shirt impatiently- Yuki-kuuuuuuuun, c'mon I googled a priest and rented on on and he'll be here in 5 minutes.PICK YOUR BEST MAN AND GET DRESSED OR NO HONEYMOON FUN FOR YE!

Yuki:B-but thats the only reason guys get married! -cry- Well, my best man I guess'll be.. Haru?

Haru:-crying in the cornor-Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!I wanted to marry Yuki-kun TT.TT

Jurhee:OH WELL, be the best man and Ill get you some oats.

Haru:Mmmhmmm, ooooats.Oh the delimma.Okay, I'll be the best man.

Rosa:Jurhee, will you be my maid of honor?

Juree:-grin-O' course!

DING-A-DONG

Rosa:The priest is here.OKAY EVERYONE GET READY!

Yuki:-tugs a collar of tux he randomly found nervously-

Priest:We are gathered here today-

Jurhee:Hurry up and get to the good part, I'm hungry and want some reciption cake.

Priest: 00;; Er. Do you Rosa Devlin take Yuki Sohma as this chapter's lawfully wedded husband?

Rosa:I do, I do, I DO!

Priest: ... okay.Now, do you Yukii Sohma take Rosa Devlin as this chapter's lawfully wedded wife?

Yuki:Uhm..

Jurhee:-runs over to Haru and whispers in his ear-I'll give you two pound of oats if you whisper this in Yuki's ear...-runs back over to her spot, smilling innocently-

Haru:-sighs and whispers in Yuki's ear-Remember...honeymoon fuuuuuun, hooooooneeeey mooooon fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Yuki:I DO, I DO, I DO LIKE HONEYMOON FUN!

Priest:Okay, just kiss 'er already.

Rosa and Yuki:-makeout-

Everyone:-clapclapclap-

Jurhee:Yay time for cake!

-------

Note:I'm sorry, but you can only be married to a charachter for one chapter.Because other people wanna be married to them too.But Rosa will be known as dundundaduuuun the first wife of Yuki Sohma, ROSA MARIE SOHMA. )


	3. Seahorse Friends

Jurhee:Hello, tis I, to bring in more dares!

Yuki:The honey moon was fun...-eyes zone out-

Jurhee:-blink-Anyways, I got a dare from LateNightWriter.Hahaha, I figured out what 'Late Night' specials on HBO OnDemand were.They are-

Shigure:-singsong voice-Poooooornoooos!

Everyone:-shudder-

Jurhee:Oh, speaking of Shigure, today's dare is for you, my doggy friend!

Shigure:-barks and runs around in circles in happiness of attention-

Jurhee:Okay, Shigure Truth or Dare.

Shigure:Dare!Is it sexual?I hope its sexual.I like sexual things.I like you.I like sex.Iz nize.[I do no own Borat

Kyo:-growls-Will ya shuddup you damn pervert?!You're scaring Tohru!

Tohru:-eyes wide and hiding in corner-

Jurhee:Anyway, your dare is to..go out with a chick named Michelle, because, apparently, she loves perverts.Wow. so do I!Perverts are so fun to 'play' with aren't they?

Shigure:Yay, of course I will!Gladly!You all forget I'll date anything if it has boobs and legs. )

Hatori:-eyes his 'friend'-No, believe me 'Gure, we didn't forget.

Jurhee:Anyway, here is Michelle!

Michelle:-waves akwardly then sees Shigure, and glomps him-GURE-KUN!

Shigure:Happy day!-poofs and turns to dog-

Everyone:-gasp-She knows about the curse now!

Jurhee:Do you guys forget your everyday life, and most personal thoughts/secrets are broadcasted all over the world in the form of mangas and animes?

Everyone:-scowl-

Akito:-gasp-So they know I'm a female with a rather low voice, and triple A boobs?!

Jurhee:-nods-Indeed, now, go have sex with the chicken.Or something, I don't like you.

Akito:-cries-I'm pregnet with chickens already!-lays eggs and sits on them-

Everyone: 00;;

Michelle:C'mon 'Gure, let's go to a porno store!

Shigure:Of course my flower.Porno's galore!

Michelle and Shigure:-prances off into the sunset-

Jurhee:-taps chin-Okay, while they are going out having a 'play date', let's play with the most adorable person to walk this Earth!

Kyo:-bats eyelashes-MEH?

Jurhee: Eh, no.MOMIJI!

Momiji:Hallo!

Jurhee: ( Konichiwa!Let's go scuba diving!

Tohru:Okay!

Kyo and Yuki:Fine.

Momiji:O'course!

Hatori:Meh, fine.

Ayame-Oh, I do love the fishy friends under the sea.Oh, that reminds me of a song...THE SEA WEED IS ALWAYS GREENER UNDER SOMEONE ELSE'S LAKE...

Yuki:-punches-Shut.Up.

Jurhee:Alrighty then, everyone get your gear on!

Everyone:-gets stuff on except Jurhee and Momiji-

Kyo:What the hell are you guys doing?What are you merpeople!

Jurhee and Momiji:-pause-YUP!-jumps into ocean that somehow appeared and gets fishy fins-

Everyone: 00;; -sweatdrop-

Tohru:Okay, let's follow our merefriends!

Jurhee and Momiji:-leads everyone into coral reef-

Hatori:-bubbly hard to hear-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!Get them away from me!

Seahorses:MEHEHEHEHEHE!-squeek thing noise and chases after a panicing Hatori-

Everyone:-laughs ass off-

Jurhee:-whistles and dolphins appear, takes hold of dolphin, and goes above the surface-Okay, that's all for today guys, please please PLEASE send in your truth and dares.Please remember when you post a dare you have to put a question for truth too, so our lovely charachters can have a choice.Thank you and I hope you enjoyed.

Bubbley screams are heard.

Jurhee:-sighs-I gotta svae Hatori from out seahorse friends.Til next chapter, later!


	4. Bath With Ayame

Jurhee:Yay!It seems people like this crazy ass story.So, who wants to go to the review mailbox and bring back luck or doom?

Tohru:I will!

Jurhee:Alright, now off you go! -shoos out the door-Anyway, so how are my lovely readers?

Readers:WOO!

Kyo:-falls over-WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM?

Jurhee:Er, their mother's womb?

Kyo:-twitch-

Tohru:Wow, we got alot!-hands truth and dare paper over to Jurhee-

Jurhee:Alright!We did, okay we have 3 new ones.First up, will be Fox-Zodiac and her victim will be...HIRO, SUSPENSE MUSIC!

Hiro:-blinks and frowns-No, are you that incompetant to not be able to-

Jurhee:You know, lamb chop tastes really good with rosemary seasoning.I'm actually in the mood, so-

Hiro:-sweatdrop and eyes wide-Okay, okay. -ahems- Dun...dern dern da dun, denenenenenenene deeeeern dun dun.BOOM!

Jurhee:Kyo-hime!

Tohure:-eyes go glassy-I didn't know Kyo was a princess!

Yuki:-snicker-

Kyo:-face goes red- YOU LITTLE BIT-

Jurhee:-waves finger- Ah-ah-ah!I'm the god of your world right now.Akito is nothing compared to me.

Akito:-glower-

Jurhee:-snaps finger and steak juice falls on Akito-

Kisa:-sniffs the air innocently, and sees Akito.Eyes go red, teeth grow and she let out a loud-Mew.-attacks and pounces Akito-

Akito:HELP! -runs back and fort wih Kisa still latched onto her arm,gnawing.-

Everyone:-blink-

Jurhee:Anyways, wow, we really do digress in this story alot-turns to readers-Digress:To change topic,get off track.Yay, word of the day.that rhymes, alas a poet I shall be.

Kyo:So, lets get on with it, I just want this to end.

Jurhee:-pout-Okay, Kyo, truth or dare?

Kyo:Uhm..t-truth.

Jurhee:-grins evilly-

Kyo:-face pales-

Jurhee:What was the most humiliating/mortifying thing you had ever done?

Kyo:-mumbles-ItookabathwithAyamebecausetherewouldbenomorehotwaterandidontlikethecoldsoyeahandhetouchedmeplacesandforsomereasoninowhaveanurgetodresslikelittlebopeep.

Jurhee:-laughs ass off-So,basically, you took a bath with Ayame, got molested, and have drag queen urges.

Everyone:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahehehehehehehohohohohohokekekekekeke-continue-

Kyo:-face red, and face down-

Jurhee:Aw, cheer up kitty cat.You are going to be victimized again, in a good way.

Kyo:-blink-

Jurhee:And this is from... ang5523, and apparently I'm going to guess she changed her name, but I forgot this rule, you can only date/marry/screw a charachter every 5 chapters, so I'll do your dare then, ok...uh Rosa or Jodie.

Kyo:-exhales in relief-

Jurhee:Okay, one last victim for today, and it's our very own Drum Roll man, HATORI-SAN!

Hatori:-frowns as per usual-Yes?

Jurhee:Truth or Dare, question from Darking Girl, and haha it was funny when Akito laid eggs, wasn't it?

Akito:-twitching in corner, arm ripped off, of which Kisa is chewing thoughtfully on-

Jurhee:Anyway, truth or dare?

Hatori:-thinks thoughtfully-Dare.-remembers what had just occured to Kyo-

Jurhee:You have to...smile.

Everyone:Gasp!

Shigure:Impossible, I've known him for like ever, impossible I tell you!

Hatori:-sighs-I'm warning you all now, I indeed can smile, but its so dangerous, the power that smile can hold...

Jurhee:-rolls eyes-Just do it, Ha'ri-san.

Hatori:-gives a soft warm grin, and turns into a stud-

Jurhee,Tohru,Akito[who has gained her arm back somehow, and all other females in room:-GLOMPS-Boy, you is fine.

Jurhee:-clings to his arm-But why aren't you poofing?

Hatori:-still smiling-When I smile I don't poof, and then I have the possibilty of being raped.

Jurhee:-laughs-So that's why you have him as your doctor.He's your sex slave isn't he?Aren't you lucky!

Akito:Yup!

Jurhee:Well,-still clinging to Hatori-, who would have known I liked older men?

Shigure:-looks hopefull-

Jurhee:Well, that's all for to-crazy-day.I hope you liked!

Everyone In Fruits Basket:Bye!


	5. Crazy Rodeo

Note:Alot of cussing in this chapter...eh who the fuck cares[

Jurhee:Hola,Que tal?

Everyone:Blink

Jurhee:That's Spanish 1 people.Jeez.Anyway, happy last day of september!

Tohru:Oh, cool!Same to you.

Jurhee:Aw, Tohru you're so nice.I sometimes wonder if youre a robot.

Tohru:...uhm, I don't...think I am?

Jurhee:Actually Tohru, someone picked you as their victim..er I mean...particpant!Yeah.Uhm it's from..LateNightWriter.-pause-Oh,i hope your friend enjoyed that date! -winkywinky- and some vroomvroom going on with those two I bet.Just tell her to get tested for HIV or something, honestly, who knows where Shigure has been?-sigh-

Tohru:So, I think-

Jurhee:WHOA.

Kyo:-falls over from shock-What?!

Jurhee:I saw a humming bird!

Kyo:-twitch-...I'm going to eat it.

Jurhee:Nuuuuuuu! I'm going to kill you off if you do.Though, if I did, I might get a wee bit of flamers if I did.Anyway, I humbly apoligize Tohru, so, what do you choose?

Tohru:I'll pick...dare

Jurhee:Poor, poor Tohru, you have no idea what's going to happen.Oh, the chaos that will emerge, for I am drinking Vanilla Spice...coffee.It's actually pretty good, it's from Dunkin Donuts.Happy day...for me that is.Anyway, since you picked dare your consequence is..go bad for a whoooole day [aka chapter So start!

Everyone:-takes three catious steps away from Tohru-

Tohru:WHAT?Am I like the fucking plauge now, get a grip on yourselves fucking pussies.

Yuki:-takes one small frightened step forward-M-miss Honda?

Tohru:-growls- Why do you call me -says in annoyed sing song voice- Miss Honda -normal voice- MY NAME IS TOHRU GET IT THROUGH YOUR SMALL RAT MICROSCOPIC BRAIN, DAMMIT!

Jurhee:-smiles happily at the scared faces and turns to readers-Do you know what I think?I think she's going to bitch about all the things that have been annoying her, but not get in trouble for it because it's her 'dare'.

Tohru:-hisses and turns toward Jurhee-What was that, bitch?

Jurhee:-sighs-Tohru, Tohru, Tohru, remember I'm the ruler of this OOC world.Beware if you wish to pick a fight with me.Now, onto the next..er dare and truth from Kaidathorn.Her victim is Kyo.

Kyo:-begins to cry- Why does everyone pick on me?

Jurhee:-coos-Because you're feathers get ruffled the easiest!Silly kitty.

Kureno:-head pops out from nearby chicken coop- Eh?

Jurhee:Nothing, nothing.Anyway, Kyo, truth or dare?

Kyo:-remebers his truth-D-dare?

Jurhee:-frowns- You know, I actually feel bad for you now.Well, now you have to be tied to a building, and let Haru[in bull form or Yuki beat you up for...two hours.Do you know what?I'm going to be nice..

Kyo:-flinches at the thought of Jurhee being nice-

Jurhee:But, I'll let you choose which murderer/beater-upper of those two.So, who do you pick?

Kyo:-looks at an eerily smiling Yuki, who is currently rubbing his fists and turns to a bul Haru, pawing at the ground, and huffing out of his nose-Can I pick suicide?

Jurhee:You wish, now who?

Yuki:-giggles hysterically-

Kyo:-twitch/shudder-Haru.Definitally Haru, maybe I'll only need a few skin graphs. rather then be in a coma until in 95.

Jurhee:Alright, -magically ties Kyo to a building- Jeez -looks up at a closed eyed Kyo- I hate these dares, it makes me feel bad...for the nonexsisting charachter or whatever.So guys, don't do these dares often, please?

Kyo:PLEASE! -whines then sees Haru charging for him and suddenly poofs from stress and turns into a cat, sliding out from the ropes and runs away frantically ith Haru[bull still charging at his lil kitty form-

Jurhee:-tries to stifle a giggle- Okay that's kinda funny.

Haru:-steps on Kyo's tail-

Kyo:EEEOOOWW -attacks Haru, sits on his back holding desperatly onto Haru as Haru bucks-

Jurhee:ROFL, haha you look like your at a weird rodeo.

Kyo:AAAAHH -still holding on for dear life as Haru runs around in circles, and finally is sent flying- HEEEEeeeellllppp-dissapears into the sky-

Tohru:Hahahaha, now _that's_ a real pussy, now he has a taste of being treated like someone's bitch.-gins evilly-

Jurhee:-raises eyebrows-Wow, I'm going to send you to a therapist later.Now, I'm going to do one more which is frooooom Kaida-wolf, Kaidathorn's friend.

Kyo:-suddenly appears out of now where, rocking in a fetal position-

Jurhee:-blinks- What happened to you?

Kyo:Kureno...Akito...butt...sex...landed...in...bed-gives a girly shriek before fainting, eyes rolling in the back of his head-

Jurhee:-sigh- There goes another one, I just hope he isn't blind.Now the next person, the one who molested the now fainted Kyo...AYAME!

Ayame:Hello, hello, hello, I am the great Count Ayame.[lemony snickets series of unfortanute events FUNNY NOW LAUGH-Readers:-Blink-

Jurhee:You aren't a count of any kind.If anything, you are Chester the Molester.So, uhm...dare or ...dare?

Ayame:I'll pick dare!

Jurhee:The first one or the latter?

Ayame:The latter please.

Jurhee:You are going to marry Kaidia-wolfe...and then..torture Kaidathorn?Wow, I can see how good friends you two are.

Ayame:So I get to have honeymoon fun?

Jurhee:Yes, you get to have weird cosplay honeymoon fun.Then torture Kaidathorn.

Wolfe[for short:Yay!-glomps Ayame as Ayame tries to glomp her at the same time and hit heads, falling backwards-

Jurhee:For the sake of time...-gets a romote control- FAST FORWARD!

Ayame and Wolfe:Ejushdfikru ritburjbh hjrhjhtvnuyvb ohohohohahaiv nio ib irb.

Everyone and Readers:Huh?

Jurhee:It was a fastforward sound, DUH!

Ayame:WE'RE BAAAAAAAAACK!

Jurhee:Good, now you guys can torture Kaidiathorn...but I don't know what to write of torturing her...uhm, oh I know! -16 babies appear on th ground crying,gurlgling and spitting up-

The New Mrs.Ayame:-rushes off and gets Kaidiathorn, puts babies and Thorn[fo' sho't into a locked room.-yells through the door-IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF THEM, YOU'LL GET A GUILTY CONCIENCE[or however you spell that damn word, SO HAHAHAHA THAT'S FOR -something or another, I don't know these two people-.SO YEAH!

Thorn:-after two hours in locked room-S-SHUT UP -starts crying herself- WAAAAHHH!

Jurhee:-shrug-So, that's all for today! I'll do the other dares and that stuff in the next chapter, and guys, please more dares for the other charachter other then Kyo.I think he's gonna die soon.

Kyo:-gurgles, and giggles as an airplane passes and poops himself-

Jurhee:You see?He's really letting himself go.Sorry about the exsessive cussing and all that.Til Next Time!

Everyone:HASTA LUEGO!

Kyo:-gurgles and spits up food on his shirt-Bwa! -waves crazily-


	6. Because I Got High

Jurhee:Hey everybody it's that time again!

Characters of Fruits Basket:-cries-

Jurhee:Aw, you'll live.Anyway, it's ben a while since I last wrote.School sucks.And guys amuse me.Seriously, they act like 5th graders when they ask you out."Uuuh, here's a jolly rancher.PLZ B MAH GRLFRND!"

Everyone:-blink-

Jurhee:-sigh-Now let's bring on the impending doom.Kisa, please recieve the truth or dare...er reviews.

Kisa:O-okay. -rushes off to bing back chaos-

Jurhee:-turns to everyone else-So, what's up?

Everyone:-stares afraid and nervous-

Jurhee:I already saw the dares, they aren't the bad.

Everyone:Phew.

Kyo:Does any have to do with me?

Jurhee:Uuuuh..Kyo, I'm not going to tell you the truth.

Kyo:Just tell me, I can handle it.

Jurhee:YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

Kyo: 00

Kisa:-returns-Here you g-go.

Jurhee:Argigato!Now, the next contributer to this lovely interactive story parody thing is Fox-Zodiac.They are for Kyo, and Yuki.

Kyo and Yuki:-tries to run, but then a cage falls from the sky-

Kyo:-bites the cage bars desperatly-

Tohru:-watches with a fearful expression-

Jurhee:Well Kyo, it looks like you're basically being forced to marry Fox-Zodiac.And have honey moon fun.I know no man would object to the honey moon fun.That's the reason why men exsist.Except for gay guys.

Akito:RIGHT!I live for the pain and misery of others!

Jurhee:Uhm, aren't you a girl?

Akito:-cries- I don't know what I am! -runs off-

Jurhee:-blink-Anyway, and for Yuki apparently you are going to go out with Fox-Zodiac's sister.

Yuki:Do I have a choice?

Jurhee:Well, she is kinda threating you with a knife.She's kinda overprotective.But you do have a choice.Go out with her sister or be in pain.Alot of pain.

Yuki:So, I basically have no choice.

Jurhee:Yup, basically.LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Fox-Zodiac:-eyes go starry-Kyoooooooo! -glomps-

Kyo:Ack!-struggles but Fox has a death like grip-get off me, dammit!

Fox:-whispers in ear-Two words, kitty.Honey.Moon.Fun.

Jurhee:Uh, that was three words.But anyways, and here is Fox's sister, idk her name, so I'm going to call her...uh, Sue.

'Sue':-hearts appear in her eyes-YUKI-KUUUUUUN!

Yuki:00

'Sue':-glomps and snuggles-Yuki, will you go out with me?

Fox:-stares at Yuki with a meaningful expression-

Yuki:-poofs into a rat and stares up at 'Sue'-Well...

Fox:-steak knife appears in hand and she whistles innocently-

Yuki:o'course!Yes I will, I don't wanna die.-poofs back-

'Sue':YAY!-smothers in kisses-

Jurhee:Ah, love is in the autumn air.Now, you guys have fun!

Kyo and Fox:-goes to altar to get married-

Yuki and 'Sue':-goes to movie for 'first date'-

Jurhee:Alrighty then, the next truth or dare review is from Aiko Enomoto.Her victim is Tohru.

Tohru:-swallows loudly-Yes?

Jurhee:Truth or dare?

Tohru:T-truth.

Jurhee:-smiles wryly-This is going to be intresting.Alright, now Tohru.Have you ever acted happy because you were high?

Tohru:Uuuh, thats why I'm happy in the mornings.Other then that, I'm just a human prozac. [

Jurhee:-blink-Wow, hey, will you sing us a song?

Tohru:Sure!

Jurhee:Will you sing the Fruits Basket Version of 'Because I Got High' by Afroman?

Tohru:Uhm, okay.

-lights dim and Tohru appears on stage smoking a blunt-

Tohru: It's like I don't ever feel sad about nothin' man

Always so happy, yeah cuz

I was going to be PMS'ing, until I got high

I was going to complain about cleaning, but then I got high

I'm always happy in the morning, and I know why

because I got high

because I got high

I was going to make Yuki and Kyo go hungry, before I got high

I coulda made them do some work and I wouldn't of had to make it, but I got high

Now I'm making them breakfast and I know why

Because I got high

Because I got high

I was going to put Shigure for being a pervert, before I got high

Going to call the cops and yell, but then I got high

But I didn't and acted innocent, and I know why

Because I got high

Because I got high

I was going to ditch school but I was high

I wasn't going to give a care, before I got high

Now, I care about going to school and I know why

Because I got high

Because I got high

I was going to act like a normal girl teenager, but I was high

I was going to be able to get angry and yell at someone, before I got high

But now I'm perfect and I know why

Because I got high

Because I got high

Jurhee:That was great Tohru! - I made that up, so if you try to steal t, i'll kill you.maybe.if you wanna borrow it, messege me.

Tohru:YAY!Thanks, I'll be in my room so I'll get high.Good bye!-then she left the room in a sigh-

Jurhee:Today's chapter is done, wasn't it fun?Look at the time, it's an hour past nine!It's time for me to leave, and I have a headache so I need some Aleave.I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you don't get uuh destroyed.My rhyming is running thin, and I think Akito was born in a trash bin..

Akito:HEY!

Jurhee:Please review, it's the right thing to do.Have a good day, please give a review with a truth or dare so in the next chapter we have more to say.

Everyone in Fruits Basket:BYE!


	7. Snorting Sugar

Jurhee:Hey gang!Guess whose back;back again?

Tohru:Jurhee is back!Hello, how are you?

Jurhee:-smile-Pretty good.-pause-You got high again, didn't you?

Tohru:-shrugs and smiles, then skips off into the sunset smiling-

Jurhee:Alrighty then, let's start our dares.I would like...Ritsu to get our reviews this time, because he has yet to appear in this yet.

Ritsu:I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRY.I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO.PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I'M SUCH A THOUGHTLESS AND SELFISH PERSON, WAAAAAAH!

Jurhee:-thwaks with Fruits Basket manga-JUST GO ALREADY,MONKEY BOY!

Ritsu:Waaaaah!-runs off to get reviews-

Kyo:-sigh/growl-You saw the reviews already, right?

Jurhee:Uh-huh.

Kyo:So...you know the upcoming victims?

Jurhee:It would seem so.

Kyo:Am I in it?I got a rabbits foot to give me luck.-grips rabbit's foot for dear life, cooing something to it-

Momiji:-growls and tackles Kyo and then puts him in a carrot suit, and shoves him in a room of starved rabbits, and the easter bunny-

Jurhee: . . . .uh, Momiji?

Momiji:Ja?

Jurhee:Good work!

Jurhee and Momiji:All right! -thumbs up-

Shigure and Ayame:Nuuuuu!That's our thing!-pouting and sulking-

Kyo:-screams and suddenly a very high pitched scream and the sound of something ripping makes everyone wince-

Ritsu:I'M BACK, I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!I SHOULD DIE, I'M SUCH A WORTHLESS PERSON-

Jurhee:-eyes go black with annoyance-Ritsu, do you really wish to die?

Ritsu:-blink-

Jurhee:If you don't shut up now, I'm going to -hisses something in Ritsu's ear making his give out a scream, use your imaganation to think what I said-

Ritsu:O-okay.-hands reviews and books outta there-

Jurhee:Cool.Now first off are for Momiji,Hiro and Kisa.TEN-HUT!

Momiji/Hiro/Kisa:HAI!

Jurhee:First dare is for Momiji, from Darking Girl.MO-MI-TCHI STEP FOUR-WARD, CADET!

Momiji:Ma'ma,yes,Ma'am!-salutes-

Jurhee:Truth or Dare.

Momiji:Uuuh.. dare!

Jurhee:-nods and leaves silently to get Kyo out of the bunnies of doom room-

Kyo:-staggers over and falls, hair white and eyes blank-There are so many things in this world I have yet to understand.Mostly along the lines of how aggressive rabbits are.

Jurhee:-whispers something in Momiji's ear and hands him a broom-

Momiji:-turns to Kyo, and grins-KYON-KYON, I have a song to sing you.

Kyo:-starting blankly, still not blinking-

Momiji:IEI WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!-dances around in a circle-

Ayame/Shigure:-grins and run over begging to dance around in a circle singing also-

Ayame/Shigure/Momiji:-AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, HA

Momiji:-hits grounds four times with the broom and a BOOM is heard-

Kyo:-turned into a turtle-

Jurhee:Wow, that was upmostly..different.

Kyo:-falls onto back and legs look like he's running on air-

Kagura:-eyes turtle and smiles-Yum, I do like turtle soup! -sweeps Kyo turtle in arms and places him in pot-

Jurhee:-turns toward Yuki who was watching with wide eyes the whole incident-Should we say something?

Yuki:Uh-uh.Nope.

Jurhee:I agree, now HE-ROW! ATTENT-SHUN!

Hiro:-just stares but walks over and stares up at Jurhee blandly-Yes?

Jurhee:YOU ARE NEEEXT.-pause-Okay, truth or dare?

Hiro:-gives odd look-Uhm truth?

Jurhee:If you had to cut off any limb, what would it be? -bone saw appears in her hands.She hides it behind her back-

Hiro:Well, there is one limb, thats not really a limb that I won't use until I'm atleast 15...

(Think about it and you'll know what 'limb' he's talking about xD)

Jurhee:-raises hand and chains appear on Hiro-

Hiro:-eyes wide-WHAT IN LAMB CHOP'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!

Jurhee:-smiles eerily-If you are afraid _now, just wait until I'm finished with you_.

Hiro:-cries-

Jurhee:Eh, blame Darking Girl, she told me to.And, well, I live to serve.-takes chained up Hiro into a locked room-

Hiro:AAAAAAGGGHH!

Jurhee:-smiles-You're offically a yent[sp? now.(yent is a guy whose dinga ling is chopped off)

Hiro:I hope you die.

Jurhee:-smiles and kisses him-

Hiro:-falls over and twitches as if in pain-

Jurhee:Don't worry it'll grow back by the next chapeter, which I will post in 2 days.IT WILL BE THE ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY.YAYE!-coughs-Now anyway, next is KEY-SA!

Kisa:-shivers-Y-y-es?

Jurhee:-smiles and pets head-Your next truth which is your dare or dare?

Kisa:-blinks confused-Er, d-d-are?

Jurhee:-pours a pack of white powder on the table-Snort this.

Kisa:B-but, drugs are bad!

Jurhee:Tohru is the best person, right?

Kisa:-smiles and nods-Uh-huh!

Jurhee:She gets high on a daily basis.Now, do the dare.

Kisa:-sighs and hesitantly snorts and twitches-RAWR.

Jurhee: It was only sugar!

Kisa:-eyes go red and runs around in circle giggling and breaking the house-

Shigure:-cries-My house!

Jurhee:EEP!-narrowly dodges a randomly tackling Kisa-I got to go and calm this tiger down!-CRASH, BOOM-

High pitched scream in background.

Jurhee:Well, I've got to go!See you in two days for the one month anniversary!Please review and also review with truth or dares!See you later.OOF!-Kisa tackles Jurhee to the ground-

Kisa:-hisses and head spins three times around-

Jurhee:OH JESUS!


	8. Choas,Crazy,Some Other C Word!

Jurhee:And here I am, back from the dead!

Kyo:You died?! -pause- Now, if only you would stay dea-

Jurhee:-holds up picture of bunnies and his wrangled form-

Kyo:Okay, shutting up.

Jurhee:Life is khurayzay.[crazy

Yuki:I don't rememeber seeing that word in the dictonary of any language.

Jurhee:Psh, well my computer says _your_ name doesn't exsist.

Yuki:-cries-

Kyo:HAHA! Take that you stupud rat!

Jurhee:Uh, your name doesn't exsist either.

Kyo:-is sad-

Jurhee:Now, off the the review, truth/dare thinga maggigas!

Kisa:Hehe, thinga maggiga.I like that word!

Jurhee:-pets Kida-As do I, my child.Get me the paper please?

Kisa:Sure! -smile-

Everyone remaining in the room:-waiting for death, and writting will-

Shigure:-writting something ferverishly on paper-

Jurhee:Geezuz, how much crap do you have to give people once you kick the bucket?

Shigure:It's not a will! -goes back to writting-

Jurhee:-rips paper out of Shigure's hand, and face pales, and faints-

Tohru:Shigure, what is that?

Shigure:-grins pervertedly-

Yuki:-reads what Shigure wrote over his shoulder, face pales and shoves Tohru away- Tohru, you go hide in the other room.I'm calling the police.There is a rapist who enjoys writting his thoughts, who lives under our roof.

Tohru:-blink-Eh? -finally notices Jurhee's lifeless body- OH NOES!!1!!1!1!!!!!!11!!! Is she okay?

Jurhee:-gurgle/grunt-

Shigure:-whisks Jurhee's unconcious self, and goes into his room-

Kisa:-comes in-Where is Jurhee?

-weird noises come from Shigure's room-

Kyo:-winces-Never mind, we just have to do the show ourselves I guess.

Hatori:Oh god, thank god I'm a doctor.

Haru:Eh, we are still gonna die.

Hatori:-sigh- Most likely.

Kisa:I wanna be Jurhee today!

Everyone:-stares at the young 6th grader-

Kisa:What?I wanna, I wanna, I WANNA!-temper tantrum-

Yuki:K-kisa?

Haru:-explains to Yuki-You know how tigers can have random mood swings?

Yuki:-nods-

Haru:Well, her's are more violent.She will be something even _worse_ then Jurhee.

Everyone in room other then a still yelling Kisa:-dramatic gasp-Oh, no!What will we do?

Kisa:Alright, now listen up!

Everyone:-lines up nervously-

Kisa:First up, UNCLE HATORI!

Hatori:-blink-Yes?

Kisa:-hands bottle of pills-Take them.

Hatori:-huffs- I am a doctor, it's pretty reasonable to _not_ take mysterious pills that originated from Fox-Zodiac (clever way to insert contributer of dare's name)

Kisa:-smiles sweetly-Then, I guess I'll just _haaave_ to tell everyone what happened when you and Akito got drunk and played the _new_ version of doctor.

Hatori:-pales and quickly takes pills- I...I feel different.Like I...I...I'M SO CONFUSED!I HATE FEELING CONFUSED!-turns to everyone-YOU ALL NEVER LOVED OR CARED FOR ME!I'M GONNA RUN AWAY, THEN YOU'LL SEE...SEE THAT YOU NEED ME TO SURVIVE! -runs off into the night-

Haru:-blinks and turns to an innocently humming Kisa-Yo, what kinda pills were they?

Kisa:-puts finger to chin and 'hmmmm''s-Very strong PMS pills that makes you extremely emotional.Why?

Haru:No reason.

Kisa:-giggles-Teehee!Alright, next up iiiiiiis...-pause- UNCLE AYAME, UNCLE SHIGURE!

Ayame:-poofs-Heeeeello T-I-Double Guh-ER!

Kisa:-eyes blank out and begins to sing-

The wonderful thing about Tiggers

Is Tiggers are wonderful things 

Their tops are made out of rubber

The bottoms are made out of springs

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy 

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun

But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is that

I'm the only one!

Kisa:-normal again-What happened?

Hiro:-swallows somewhat fearfully-Uhm, you just sang the 'Wonderfuk Tigger' song, from the movie Winne the Pooh, by the Disney company.If Jurhee were here, I'm sure she would say,"So please don't sue me.I'm mad broke.And I don't wish to whore myself off.Thanks."

Kisa:Anyways, UNCLE SHIGURE!!WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU! 

Shigure:-voice sounds muffled- I'm uh, kinda busy!

Kisa:-gets annoyed-SHIGURE!GET YOUR SCRAWNY DOG ASS OUT HERE, AND STOP MOLESTING JURHEE'S UNCONCIOUS SELF!

Shigure:-frowns and comes out of room-You take away all my fun!

Kisa:-raises eyebrow-Hmm,I wonder what else Jurhee will take away once she wakes up.

Shigure:-grins-She'll do nothing!Do you wanna know what I was doing?

Everyone:Uhm, no.

Shigure:-sighs dramatically-Fine, if you _insist_. I was making a love potion, for her to fall in love with Hatori.It's time to get our revenge.Don't you think?

Everyone:Wow, Shigure, who know you had thoughts that _didn't_ revolve around sex?

Shigure:And, then I made a sex potion, for her to wanna have sex with me-

Everyone:...wow.

Kisa:GUYS!Back on topic, dares 'n stuff, revenge that will probably kill you all in humilating ways, later!Ayame and Shigure.TEN-HUT!

Aya and 'Gure:-salute-

Kisa:-turns on radio and Glamorous by Fergie is on- Sing to this song, together!

Aya:-in a woman bikini-

Shigure:-in girl scout outfit-

Kyo:-dies-

Yuki:-dies-

Haru:-dies-

Everyone else the writer hasn't cared to mention:-dies-

Shigure and Ayame:-begins to sing while making..'provocative' poses-

G

L

A

M

O

R

O

U

S

Yeah!

We flyin' first class up in the sky,

we flyin' first class, livin' the life

in the fast lane and I won't change

By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy.

wear them gold and diamon rings, all them things don't mean a thing

chaperons and limousines, shoppin' for exspensive things

I be on the movie screens, magazines and boogie scens

I'm not clean, I'm not pristine, I'm no queen, I'm no machine...

-song trails off-

Everyone:-is ressurected-

Kisa:-blank face- My poor, poor innocence.Gone, simply as that. -sniffle-

Kyo:Try livin' with the one weirdo.

Kisa:-hiss but then grins evilly-

Kyo:-very scared- Wha...what?

Kisa:You're next.

Kyo:-screams a very high pitched scream-

Hatori:-runs through the room, tears running down his face- STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK! NOBODY LOVES ME! MY X-GF DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME, LITERALLY! AND I HAVE NO TRUE PAIRING IN THE ANIME/MANGA! WAH!

Shigure:-pats Hatori on the back- Ah, cheer up Ha'ri!

Ayame:Ah, yes.We will get you a pairing partner.One who will love you foreva 'n eva!

Hatori:-giggles happily and smiles/complete mood swing- Really?! Who, who?!?! Tell me, pleeeeease?

Shigure:-makes a 'sshing' motion with his finger- Okay, you know the narrarator girl?The blonde one?

Hatori:Uh-uh?!

Ayame:Well, my man.She totally has the hotts for you!Ah, I can see it now..

Shigure and Ayame: JURHEEXHATORI

Hatori:-squee-Where is she?!

Shigure:Uhm, she is..asleep.

Hatori:Where?

Shigure:...my bedroom?

Hatori:-sad angry face- ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY 15 SEC. LONG LOVER?!

Shigure:-whimpers and runs-

Hatori:-chases after-

Jurhee:-moan- Ugh, what happened?

Everyone:-silences-

Jurhee:Oh, what's this paper say?

Everyone:-thinking-_Is that the paper that made her pass ou-_

Jurhee:-scream, and a thump of a body hitting the floor is heard-

Everyone:-sigh-_Yes, yes it was._

Kisa:-grins evilly- Now, I am still the host!

Kyo:You put that paper in the room, didn't you?

Kisa:-shrugs-Maybe.Now Kyo, you are the next.. torturee.

Kyo:Tor-Chur-E?

Kisa:Congrats Kyo, you can sound out words!

Kyo:-growl-

Kisa:Truth or Dare?

Kyo:-pause- Truth.

Kisa:-thinks then smiles gleefully-If you were gay, which guy would you most likely screw?

Kyo:-mumble-

Kisa:-grins sadisticlly-I'm sorry Kyo, I didn't hear you.

Kyo:I said... Ritsu.

Everyone:-deadpans-

Kisa:That was a weird...outlook of you Kyo.

Kyo:-cries- NOBODY LOVES ME!!!1!!!!!!11!!!!!1!

Yuki:-sighs-Kisa, did you give him those PMS pills?

Kisa:-confused-No?He must just be a very...emotional person.

Haru:-voice from Shigure's room- Rhee is still not awake yet.

Yuki:Who's Rhee?

Haru:Jurhee, Rhee? Her nickname? Get it?Idiots.

Hatori:-cries and stops running after Shigure and turns to Haru-What did you just call her?

Haru:-slightly afraid- Rhee?

Hatori:YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HER AREN'T YOU?! YOU GAVE HER A NICKNAME, THAT MEANS YOU ARE TRYING TO STEAL HER FROM ME!-pause- I think I'm going to kill you.

Haru:EeEeEeP!-scurries off-

Kisa:-sighs and stares after Hatori attempting to stab the cow-Well, I guess I'll continue to host in the next chapter since Jurhee is still lifeless.I can't wait until she wakes up! That's going to be so...much...fun.-slow evil denomic laugh-

Choas raging behind her, with various screams and a fire.

Kisa:Til then, good bye.-slowly fades into darkness-


	9. Choking via fluff

Kisa:-stares at the still enraging chaos behind her- Sorry it's been about...a month. TOO MUCH CHAOS!!!11!!!

Haru:When will those pill wear off?! -dodges a flying tackle from Hatori-

Hatori:DON'T STEAL HER. SHE'S MINE AAAAAAALL MINE! BWUAHAHAHA! -twitch-

Haru:-whimpers and scampers off-

Kisa:-looks at the pill bottle- Hmm, take more then four go get immediate medical attention.-calls out- HA'RI, how many pills did you take?

Hatori:I don't have an addiction! -takes 5 more pills- I can stop any time I want to!

Kisa:-blink- Anyway, who cares to see how Jurhee is doing?

Shigure:I volunteer! -happy face-

Kisa:No.

Shigure: Please?

Kisa:Sure.

Shigure:Really? -really happy face-

Kisa:...no.

Shigure:Why? -pout-

Kisa: Because there is a dare for you. From mintcandicane. She wants you to-

Ayame: Make out with me! FINALLY!

Shigure: Yessum! -tackle Ayame and begins hooking up-

Kisa:-twitches- Ew. Anyway, I'll see how Jurhee is do-

Jurhee:-yawns then stares at the basically torn apart house- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Kisa:-goes innocent- I-I don't know. They were teasing me! -cry-

Jurhee:-pets- Who was it?

Kisa:It was all of them!

Jurhee:Okay. -heads off to kill everyone for teasing 'poor little Kisa' then see Hatori biting Haru's ear- H-hatori -eyes change color-

Hatori:-screams and tackles Jurhee- I want your sex!

Jurhee:Hurrah for JurheexHatori! -sexes/'gasms-

Hatori:That was fun, wasn't it hunnyliciousbunny?

Jurhee:Yes it was snugglewuffumspantiebums.

Hatori:-squees and snuggles into Jurhee-

Jurhee:-kisses Hatori-

Kisa: ENOUGH!

Jurhee:Huh?

Kisa:-gives Jurhee antidote to love potion- To much fluff! I was choking! Geezuz.

Jurhee:Holy crap. Did I just-

Kisa:Uh-huh.

Jurhee:-passes out-

Kisa:Oh lawd. I have to continue being host I suppose. Next victimee... YUKI

Yuki:-hides in a fetal positon in a dark corner- No.No.No.No.No.No-

Kisa:Be the man that you may or may not be!

Yuki:-sniffles-

Kisa:This was from the lovely latenightwriter. So, blame her.

Latenightwriter:-stares-

Kisa:-waves- Anyway, truth or dare.

Yuki:-pause- Truth.

Kisa:-grumbles- Are you gay?

Yuki:Uuuhm... I-I DON'T KNOW! -cry- I love Tohru!...and...

Kisa:And who?

Yuki:KYO! I 3 red/orange heads. Firecrotcheslove.

Everyone and readers:-dies-

Yuki:-cries-

Kyo:-attempts to kill self but fails repeatedly-

Kisa:Next up... Tohru!

Tohru:-comes out from behind corner slowly- Okay..

Kisa:Truth or dare?

Tohru:Uhm...dare?

Kisa:Grope them.

Tohru:Huh?

Kisa:Their perfect butts are calling to you. Grope them.

Tohru:Okay! -happy face and walks over to Yuki- Hey Yuki.

Yuki:H-hello Miss Honda.

Tohru:-continues smiling and pinches Yuki's butt-

Yuki:-eyes get big- Did you just?

Tohru:-nods and then slaps-

Yuki:-jumps then goes red-

Tohru:-squeezes-

Yuki:-transforms and scurries off into his room-

Kisa:Ahahaha. Poor most likely horny Yuki.Aw, that's adorable.

Tohru:-glides like a ghost over to a still suicidal Kyo-

Kyo:-grumbles- Rat boy likes me. I must end my life.

Tohru:-squeezes Kyo's butt-

Kyo:AAAHHH! It's Yuki I bet!-turns to see it's Tohru then smiles a cheesy smile-

Tohru:-pinches-

Kyo:-returns the favor-

Tohru:-eyes get big and slaps-

Kyo:-slaps back-

Tohru:-blink-

Kyo:-blink- Do it again.It feels niiiize.

Tohru:Okay! -slaps ass harder and Kyo goes flying- Aheh!

Kisa:That was disgusting.Next up is Kyo.

Kyo:-poofs back into room- Eh?

Kisa:Truth or dare?

Kyo:Dare.I'm afraid of truth, recently.

Kisa:Indeed. So, you have to wear one of Ayame's dresses.And jump around.And do a girly girl yell.

Kyo:I already lost all of my pride and dignity. Might as well! -dresses up and giggles- I WANNA HAVE A TEA PAR-TAY!

Kisa:-sigh- That's all for today! Sorry for the delay, and maybe Jurhee will wake up soon, for more then 5 minutes.

Jurhee:-grunts and hits something in sleep-

Kisa:See you next time!


End file.
